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Sunday, February 12, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Some Alone Time
Fade in:
INT. HOUSE -
LIVING ROOM - MID AFTERNOON
TOM, late
thirties, sits on a couch watching a baseball game
on the
television. He grabs a beer off of the coffee table
in front of
him and looks at it for a second, then takes a
drink. He
puts the beer down and sighs contentedly.
The sounds
of a door opening is heard and a woman, ANN,
mid-thirties, walks in to the living room.
ANN
Hey babe. I’m home. The kids wanted
to
keep playing so Shelly offered
to
take them to her house. We just
have to pick them up in a bit.
Tom looks up
from the television, toward his wife.
TOM
Wow. It’s been about six years
since we’ve had this place to
ourselves. Maybe I’ll be able to
actually finish nine innings.
Ann looks at
her husband with a devilish smile.
ANN
Or... We could do something, I
don’t know, a little more fun?
TOM
(chuckling)
What exactly do you have in mind?
ANN
Why don’t you go grab the video
camera? I’ll wait for you in our
room.
TOM
(surprised)
We
haven’t done that since our
honeymoon! You go! I’ll be right
there!
Ann walks
off toward the bedroom and Tom walks toward the
front of the
house to the study. As he is walking, the
doorbell
rings. Tom looks at the door but then continues to
the study.
The doorbell rings twice more and Tom looks up,
grumbles,
and walks toward the door.
He opens the
door to find a smiling, middle aged, woman,
holding a
bible in one hand.
WOMAN
Hi there! Have you heard the
good
news about our Lord and savior?
TOM
What? Umm, this really isn’t the
best time. Thank you.
Tom tries to
close the door, but the woman stops him.
WOMAN
Nonsense! It’s always the best time
for Jesus!
TOM
(nervously and quickly)
I
have someone, ahem, something
waiting on me. Chores. I need to do
somethings around the house.
WOMAN
That’s ok. I’ll just sit down on
the couch and talk to you while you
work. Jesus doesn’t have to impede
your day!
The woman
pushes past Tom and takes a seat on the couch in
the living
room. Tom follows her and sits down as well.
TOM
Ok. Can you just quickly tell me
what you need to tell me?
WOMAN
Oh
there’s so much to tell! Jesus
was just the most interesting man!
A ringtone
goes off and Tom reaches in to his pocket. The
woman gives
him a look of disapproval.
TOM
Uhh, sorry.
Tom looks at
his phone. On the screen, the text reads "Who
is that? Hurry up!" Tom sighs and puts
his phone back in his
pocket.
WOMAN
Ok, where was I? Right! Jesus was
sent down by God, our father, to save
us from our sins and from the devil in Hell.
TOM
Right, right. I already know all
that!
WOMAN
You may know it, but do you
truly
accept it?
TOM
Yes, yes, of course. Now please, I
have something I need to do.
The same
ringtone goes off again. Tom pulls his phone out
and lets out
a tiny yelp. On the small screen there is a
picture of
Ann in black lingerie.
WOMAN
Is
everything alright? You look
like you just saw the devil.
TOM
Yeah I’m fine, but I really,
really, need you to go. Jesus, he’s
number one. I get it. I accept it.
I’ll show you out.
WOMAN
Hold on there, Samson! You may talk
tough, but can you back it up? Will
you follow the lord, or will you
let Delilah tempt you?
The same
ringtone goes off a third time. Tom pulls out his
phone and
coughs nervously. On the small screen is the
lingerie
tossed on the bed.
TOM
I
won’t be tempted. I really won’t!
Now please! Just leave!
WOMAN
Alright. I feel your conviction.
I’ll just leave this pamphlet for
the church here with you. I expect
to
see you there on Sunday!
The woman
hands Tom the pamphlet as they both get up and
walk towards
the door.
TOM
Church. Right. Well, thank you.
Hooray God, or, umm, yeah.
The woman leaves and Tom closes the door
behind her. He then
smiles as he
turns around. His smile falls as he sees Ann,
fully
clothed, grabbing her purse.
TOM
Honey! What are you doing?
ANN
Sorry babe. Whoever that was sucked
up
all our time. Shelly called me.
She said Ryan has a tummy ache and
wants to come home. I have to go
get him.
Ann walks
out the door and Tom walks back over to the couch.
He slumps
down, crumbles the pamphlet in his fist, and
throws it on
the ground.
TOM
God damn it.
- J.R. Thal
The Best Fish Tacos in Ensanada in Los Angeles
This last weekend I visited “The Best Fish Tacos in Ensanada” located in Los Feliz. Being that it was my first time having a fish taco, I was skeptical about going to a place so arrogant that claimed that they were the best. But my friend recommended it and since he shares my love, or rather obsession, with any form of Mexican cuisine I obliged.
When I entered the neighborhood, I noticed that the majority of the restaurants seemed to be a combination between dive bars and taco shacks, “a good sign” I though to myself. Something about this neighborhood felt more authentic than the crappy Mexican stand by campus I force myself to eat from on the weekends in order to temporarily quench my never fulfilled desire for Mexican food. We entered the restaurant, and I was instantly overwhelmed by the simplicity of the menu.
“Fish $1.50
Shrimp $2.00
Drink $1.00”
That was it. I instantly panicked, worry I would not like them. One of my friends even looked at me and said, “I hate fish tacos.”
I told him we were here and we had to try one, if we weren’t happy we could always go to one of the places nearby, he agreed. I got one of each and a coke. As I waited intently for my food, I watched as the two Latino women made it, as all the preparation and cooking is done right at the counter, definitely an added bonus.
The fish was in a perfectly gloopy batter and thrown into a sea of oil. It was quickly taken out and laid on a paper towel while the taco shells were being heated on a large frying pan. When the tacos where done cooking and handed to me, I instantly noticed the golden brown shell of the fish. I went over to the salsa bar and once again, panicked by how few selections there were.
About four or five different salsas that all looked the same, with the only difference being that some were labeled as “hot” and others “mild.” While my friend recommended the hot salsa, I didn't think my gringo tongue could not handle it, so i stuck with the mild. We went outside, as indoor seating is limited for bigger groups (we had five people) and sat down to our tacos.
The shrimp one was good, it tasted like shrimp. What I expected, but not what I wanted. The fish, on the other hand, was phenomenal, as the traditional fishy taste was replaced by that of a lightly crispy shell encasing a juicy, fresh meat. The salsa complimented the tender meat, and the corn tortillas, my preference for tacos, were cooked to perfection. It was so good that I had to go in for three more, all of which I practically inhaled.
Don’t believe that they were that good? The friend who “hates fish tacos,” purchased two more, all the while telling me how delicious they were.
Everyone was more than satisfied at the end of the night, and we drove back not even minding that Katy Perry was playing on the radio. We were to busy reminiscing about the food that had made us comatose.
If you like tacos at all you should try this place. Even if you are not a fan of fish, the fact that there is two items on the menu, means that they do not screw up either. Definitely worthy of its claim that the have the “Best Fish Tacos.” I'm tempted to go back this weekend just from writing this.
-Mark Albano
When I entered the neighborhood, I noticed that the majority of the restaurants seemed to be a combination between dive bars and taco shacks, “a good sign” I though to myself. Something about this neighborhood felt more authentic than the crappy Mexican stand by campus I force myself to eat from on the weekends in order to temporarily quench my never fulfilled desire for Mexican food. We entered the restaurant, and I was instantly overwhelmed by the simplicity of the menu.
“Fish $1.50
Shrimp $2.00
Drink $1.00”
That was it. I instantly panicked, worry I would not like them. One of my friends even looked at me and said, “I hate fish tacos.”
I told him we were here and we had to try one, if we weren’t happy we could always go to one of the places nearby, he agreed. I got one of each and a coke. As I waited intently for my food, I watched as the two Latino women made it, as all the preparation and cooking is done right at the counter, definitely an added bonus.
The fish was in a perfectly gloopy batter and thrown into a sea of oil. It was quickly taken out and laid on a paper towel while the taco shells were being heated on a large frying pan. When the tacos where done cooking and handed to me, I instantly noticed the golden brown shell of the fish. I went over to the salsa bar and once again, panicked by how few selections there were.
About four or five different salsas that all looked the same, with the only difference being that some were labeled as “hot” and others “mild.” While my friend recommended the hot salsa, I didn't think my gringo tongue could not handle it, so i stuck with the mild. We went outside, as indoor seating is limited for bigger groups (we had five people) and sat down to our tacos.
The shrimp one was good, it tasted like shrimp. What I expected, but not what I wanted. The fish, on the other hand, was phenomenal, as the traditional fishy taste was replaced by that of a lightly crispy shell encasing a juicy, fresh meat. The salsa complimented the tender meat, and the corn tortillas, my preference for tacos, were cooked to perfection. It was so good that I had to go in for three more, all of which I practically inhaled.
Don’t believe that they were that good? The friend who “hates fish tacos,” purchased two more, all the while telling me how delicious they were.
Everyone was more than satisfied at the end of the night, and we drove back not even minding that Katy Perry was playing on the radio. We were to busy reminiscing about the food that had made us comatose.
If you like tacos at all you should try this place. Even if you are not a fan of fish, the fact that there is two items on the menu, means that they do not screw up either. Definitely worthy of its claim that the have the “Best Fish Tacos.” I'm tempted to go back this weekend just from writing this.
-Mark Albano
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
My #firstworldproblems
When I sporadically check my twitter I am consistently bombarded by tweets like these:
“I forgot to put deodorant on and now I smell like a person.”
“I forgot to put deodorant on and now I smell like a person.”
“My hot water ran out 45 minutes
into my shower.”
“I want to enjoy my popcorn during
the actual movie, so I have to starve like I'm fasting for Ramadan during the
20 min. of advertisements.”
(Tweets from @FiWoProblems)
(Tweets from @FiWoProblems)
Unless you have been living under a
rock, or in the third world, then you have probably recently come across the
saying “first world problems.” For those of you new to the phrase, it basically
means that the first world is so spoiled that no one actually encounters problems,
and instead when we have what we deem to be a “problem” we are just bitching
about how we are mildly inconvenienced.
Now I’m not arguing this statement,
as most of our day to day problems are peanuts considering some other things
people must encounter.
Think for a second, how quickly is your
day ruined when you find ants in your house? It’s disgusting, them walking all
your food. Now imagine having to live like that all the time…gross. I, like the
rest of you, just threw up a little in my mouth.
It feels as though majority of the
first world cannot fend for themselves when push comes to shove.
Think you’re different?
Try to track and hunt an animal, without your
shotgun Rambo, and then find practical use for every part of the dead animal.
Not just digest it, but sew with it, sleep on it, and live in it.
Unless your name is “Dances With
Trees” then you will probably struggle with standing in the woods for over 10
minutes without any signal for your IPhone, let alone catch the animal.
Now before I get your comments
saying that, “Me and my dad go to the woods and hunt wild turkey for
Thanksgiving with crossbow. Just like the first Thanksgiving.” I’m going to
stop you before you call yourself the next day Davie Crocket and say that if
that turkey went into a frialator right after the arrow pierced it, then just
stop. Just don’t even open your mouth, you only help my point.
But I’m not here to criticize our
problems, I get it. Life is easier now, and people are always going to be
unsatisfied with the current situation. That’s how we progress. If people were psyched
on candles there would be no light bulbs. If we weren’t lazy we would have
never switched from bikes to cars. And if anyone could actually understand
Morse code, we probably would have never needed phones.
The thing is that I feel like our
culture is a little too reliant at times on these things which is supposed to
make our world “better.”
Isn't it terrible when someone wants a response to their e-mail message of a video of cats, the
third one they sent to you this week, 23 seconds after they clicked send?
Personally I treat e-mail like snail
mail. You have to wait at least three days for me to read, two weeks for a
response, and sometimes messages just get lost in the mail. Incidentally enough
this is why I love the FaceBook like button, the polite way to show that you do
not care at all.
As for texting, that’s a whole other
beast. I hate when people what to have a conversation on texting. Have we not
figured out yet that this is the most inefficient form of instant communication,
seeing as how the contents thirty minute conversation via text would have been
covered in a two minute phone call?
Also, on a personal note, don’t text
me messages that say “Sup,” give me orders or commands, like “Meet me at the
basketball courts” or “I’m getting food in fifteen minutes, you are coming.”
Don’t even give me an option, odds are I am doing nothing, and if we are going
to get food, I’ll probably ditch what I’m currently doing.
As for the internet, I wish there
was no FaceBook; every day I have to justify why I still am a part of that hellhole
website. “What if I want to check in on that kid I met once three years ago?”
“I have friends in other countries so you know, I need it…” Oh yeah because
e-mail just doesn’t cut it. After all, what’s the point if you can’t stalk
their pictures and every move at 2 A.M. on a Tuesday night? Don’t judge, when
it comes to FaceBook, every one of your friends has grounds to issue a
restraining order on you. You know it’s true.
To be fair my overall animosity to
the computer and other forms of modern day technology does stem from the fact
that I am not intelligent when it comes to it. I am often frustrated by the
fact that I don’t know how to do things on a computer that I could easily do
with a paper and pen.
Like last week I had a paper due. No
problem, I write papers all the time. After I finished, I went to check the
rubric and it said that there needed to be page numbers for every page except
the first. I had no idea how to do this, and so I Googled it to find answers,
which to my dismay listed what looked to me like entire handbooks on how do
what would be a simple step if I just was writing my essay on paper and not on
the computer.
And so I got frustrated. And so I
did what I do best when I get frustrated; I swore. A lot.
And then I took a deep breath and
said, “Mark, calm done this is a first world problem, you’re being spoiled
right now.” Which in turn made me angry at myself for being so privileged that
I have to worry about stupid things in life like how to number pages, while all
the while I still couldn’t (and can’t today) do the sample task, which made me
even more angry.
I’m going to stop myself right there
and save you some time about how this dichotomy kept me up at night, but I’m
sure you understand why I was banging on the keyboard like a gorilla into the
wee hours of the morn’.
I guess I’m just asking, “why do
things which are supposed to bring me joy and make my life easier, cause me
nothing but headaches?”
My lack of intelligence really just
serves as a way to slow me down in a process that is meant to expedite
solutions to my problems, and in turn creates new ones and amplifies the
original ones.
Now not only do I hate technology
and do I have a general lack of understanding, I’m also terrified of it.
Like I think robots have the
potential to take over, and I do recognize how dumb this makes me sound, which
is why I don’t advertise this viewpoint often.
But not only am I afraid of the robotic
apocalypse, I fear where the society goes with more technology. For example, how
many people are going to play football outside when they can master it on
Madden?
This might be a semi ridiculous example, but I gave up on skateboarding in favor of the, far easier and not conducive to physics, Tony Hawk series. I even feel elite playing the newer skateboarding series “Skate” because “it’s more realistic than Tony Hawk games,” without even taken into consideration that the most realistic thing would be to stand on my board outside.
This might be a semi ridiculous example, but I gave up on skateboarding in favor of the, far easier and not conducive to physics, Tony Hawk series. I even feel elite playing the newer skateboarding series “Skate” because “it’s more realistic than Tony Hawk games,” without even taken into consideration that the most realistic thing would be to stand on my board outside.
I just am not always sold on
technology, and sometimes I wish others weren’t either.
I wish we still focused on writing
without a computer, so that teachers don’t assign us to write even mere
sentences on a computer because “our handwriting looks like crap.” I wish I
could feel comfortable going on vacations from my phone, leave it off all day
without worrying about what I missed. I wish I could create my favorite moments
with friends rather than constantly relying on watching others’ stupid
decisions on YouTube.
I wish I could keep up in
conversation with my peers and not constantly feel lesser because I do not
entirely understand the proper etiquette for tweeting.
I wish technology wasn’t a need in
modern day society, but simply what it is supposed to be, a convenience. A
help. Not an obsession.
Now I guess my stance is a little
extreme; I believe the mentality it most closely resembles is those of the
witch hunts in the 17th century, “if I don’t understand it, then I’m
terrified of it and going to burn it.”
Maybe I just need to embrace and
understand how truly amazing it can be, how great it is.
How it saves lives, keeps families
connected, and constantly keeps individuals informed.
Maybe I should be happy that I’m
lucky enough to live in society where necessary life skills are being able to
type a paper and not hunt tonight’s dinner.
Maybe I am just too lazy to learn
it, and so I tell myself I could never figure it out.
Maybe, just maybe,
I am so spoiled that I need to live in
the third-world #firstworldproblems
-Mark Albano
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