Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Some Alone Time


Fade in:                                                        
                                                                          
                                                                          
          INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MID AFTERNOON                        
                                                                          
          TOM, late thirties, sits on a couch watching a baseball game    
          on the television. He grabs a beer off of the coffee table      
          in front of him and looks at it for a second, then takes a      
          drink. He puts the beer down and sighs contentedly.             
                                                                           
          The sounds of a door opening is heard and a woman, ANN,         
          mid-thirties, walks in to the living room.                      
                                                                          
                              ANN                                         
                    Hey babe. I’m home. The kids wanted                   
                    to keep playing so Shelly offered                     
                    to take them to her house. We just                    
                    have to pick them up in a bit.                        
                                                                          
          Tom looks up from the television, toward his wife.               
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                    Wow. It’s been about six years                        
                    since we’ve had this place to                         
                    ourselves. Maybe I’ll be able to                      
                    actually finish nine innings.                         
                                                                           
          Ann looks at her husband with a devilish smile.                 
                                                                          
                              ANN                                          
                    Or... We could do something, I                        
                    don’t know, a little more fun?                        
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                         (chuckling)                                      
                    What exactly do you have in mind?                     
                                                                           
                              ANN                                         
                    Why don’t you go grab the video                       
                    camera? I’ll wait for you in our                       
                    room.                                                 
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                         (surprised)                                      
                    We haven’t done that since our                        
                    honeymoon! You go! I’ll be right                      
                    there!                                                 
                                                                          
          Ann walks off toward the bedroom and Tom walks toward the       
          front of the house to the study. As he is walking, the          
          doorbell rings. Tom looks at the door but then continues to     
          the study. The doorbell rings twice more and Tom looks up,      
          grumbles, and walks toward the door.
         
          He opens the door to find a smiling, middle aged, woman,        
          holding a bible in one hand.                                    
                                                                          
                              WOMAN                                       
                    Hi there! Have you heard the good                     
                    news about our Lord and savior?                       
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                    What? Umm, this really isn’t the                      
                    best time. Thank you.                                 
                                                                           
          Tom tries to close the door, but the woman stops him.           
                                                                          
                              WOMAN                                        
                    Nonsense! It’s always the best time                   
                    for Jesus!                                            
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                         (nervously and quickly)                          
                    I have someone, ahem, something                       
                    waiting on me. Chores. I need to do                   
                    somethings around the house.                          
                                                                          
                              WOMAN                                        
                    That’s ok. I’ll just sit down on                      
                    the couch and talk to you while you                   
                    work. Jesus doesn’t have to impede                    
                    your day!                                             
                                                                          
          The woman pushes past Tom and takes a seat on the couch in      
          the living room. Tom follows her and sits down as well.         
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                    Ok. Can you just quickly tell me                       
                    what you need to tell me?                             
                                                                          
                              WOMAN                                       
                    Oh there’s so much to tell! Jesus                     
                    was just the most interesting man!                    
                                                                          
          A ringtone goes off and Tom reaches in to his pocket. The       
          woman gives him a look of disapproval.                          
                                                                          
                              TOM                                          
                    Uhh, sorry.                                           
                                                                          
          Tom looks at his phone. On the screen, the text reads "Who      
          is that? Hurry up!" Tom sighs and puts his phone back in his    
          pocket.                                                         
                                                                          
                              WOMAN                                        
                    Ok, where was I? Right! Jesus was                     
                    sent down by God, our father, to  save
      us from our sins and from the devil in Hell.                                        
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                    Right, right. I already know all                       
                    that!                                                 
                                                                          
                              WOMAN                                       
                    You may know it, but do you truly                     
                    accept it?                                            
                                                                          
                              TOM                                          
                    Yes, yes, of course. Now please, I                    
                    have something I need to do.                          
                                                                          
          The same ringtone goes off again. Tom pulls his phone out       
          and lets out a tiny yelp. On the small screen there is a        
          picture of Ann in black lingerie.                               
                                                                          
                              WOMAN                                       
                    Is everything alright? You look                        
                    like you just saw the devil.                          
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                    Yeah I’m fine, but I really,                          
                    really, need you to go. Jesus, he’s                   
                    number one. I get it. I accept it.                    
                    I’ll show you out.                                    
                                                                          
                              WOMAN                                       
                    Hold on there, Samson! You may talk                    
                    tough, but can you back it up? Will                   
                    you follow the lord, or will you                      
                    let Delilah tempt you?                                
                                                                           
          The same ringtone goes off a third time. Tom pulls out his      
          phone and coughs nervously. On the small screen is the          
          lingerie tossed on the bed.                                      
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                    I won’t be tempted. I really won’t!                    
                    Now please! Just leave!                               
                                                                          
                              WOMAN                                       
                    Alright. I feel your conviction.                      
                    I’ll just leave this pamphlet for                     
                    the church here with you. I expect                    
                    to see you there on Sunday!                           
                                                                          
          The woman hands Tom the pamphlet as they both get up and        
          walk towards the door.

TOM                                          
                    Church. Right. Well, thank you.                       
                    Hooray God, or, umm, yeah.                              
                                                                          
          The woman leaves and Tom closes the door behind her. He then    
          smiles as he turns around. His smile falls as he sees Ann,      
          fully clothed, grabbing her purse.                              
                                                                           
                              TOM                                         
                    Honey! What are you doing?                            
                                                                           
                              ANN                                         
                    Sorry babe. Whoever that was sucked                   
                    up all our time. Shelly called me.                    
                    She said Ryan has a tummy ache and                    
                    wants to come home. I have to go                      
                    get him.                                              
                                                                           
          Ann walks out the door and Tom walks back over to the couch.    
          He slumps down, crumbles the pamphlet in his fist, and          
          throws it on the ground.                                         
                                                                          
                              TOM                                         
                    God damn it.                                          
                                
- J.R. Thal

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