A short script I wrote, enjoy!
That's Amore
INT. HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA - DAY
TED, 17, sits with RUDY, 17, in the cafeteria, both eating
at a long table packed with other kids.
RUDY
Hey, you see that girl over there?
Gesturing down the table, we see ANGELICA, 17.
RUDY
She's the new girl from Italy.
She's so hot.
Ted begins to stare at her for quite some time.
RUDY
You alright there, Ted?
TED
Watch this. I'm an expert on Italy,
I've seen the movies.
Ted stands up from the table, and begins to glide toward
Angelica. When he reaches her, he clears his throat and she
turns her head, her hair flows across her face.
ANGELICA
Hello.
TED
And who might you be, dear angel?
ANGELICA
(into it)
Angelica. And you are?
She sticks out her hand to be shaked, and instinctively Ted
grabs it and sucks it. She blushes, but giggles as well.
TED
Ted. Now tell me Angelica, where is
that accent from?
ANGELICA
It's...
He puts his finger over her lips.
TED
Wait let me guess. It must be, hmm,
Italian?
ANGELICA
How did you know?
TED
I'm a worldly person.
ANGELICA
So you've been to Italy?
TED
Not quite, but I love pizza.
ANGELICA
Oh so do I. All Italians do.
He snaps his fingers and a pizza box appears in his hands.
He rips open the box to reveal a cheese pizza with a rose on
top. He hands the rose to Angelica, and she smells it.
ANGELICA
How did you know roses with
mozzarella on them are my favorite?
TED
Everyone loves roses, and you
clearly love mozzarella. And now
for a surprise.
ANGELICA
Another, mama mia!
Ted snaps his fingers, and two donkeys drag a cage of doves
into the school. The donkeys kick open the cage, and the
song "That's Amore" begins to play. Doves fly above
Angelica, with strings of spaghetti spelling "I love you."
ANGELICA
Perfetto! Right, Papa?
Turns to, VINNY, 45, who looks like an Italian Mafioso.
VINNY
Ted, it would be an honor for you
to do my daughter. My family would
hold you in the highest regard.
Angelica is lying on top of a flying Vespa. Ted throws
himself at her. Vinny looks on approvingly. All of a sudden
red, white, and green fireworks go off and people from
Jersey Shore dance.
ANGELICA
Oh Ted! Ted! Ted!
RUDY (O.S.)
Ted! Ted!
Ted is sitting at the table daydreaming. Rudy hits them.
TED
What?
RUDY
You've been staring at her for the
longest time, it's weird bro.
TED
Watch this.
He stands up and walks to Angelica, whose back is turned to
him as she is talking to some other girls. He taps her.
TED
I hear you're Italian. I love pizza
too.
ANGELICA
Excuse me?
TED
(slow and still serious)
I'm sorry I'll talk slowly. It's
the language barrier. So is your
dad the godfather?
ANGELICA
You have five seconds too...
TED
Report to the dance floor like the
Jersey Shore?
Angelica slaps Ted. Ted, stunned, walks back to a laughing
Rudy. He sits back down.
TED
Those Italians are too passionate
for me.
RUDY
Sure.
TED
I need a friendly southern girl.
Rudy opens up his carton of milk and pours it on Ted's head.
FADE OUT
-Mark Albano
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